Labor and Leisure – #Nonet

baby children cute dress

Breath pushed into your lungs is enough.
After so much labor of love,
At last we’re allowed to meet.
I count your ribs, your fingers,
Enjoy sweet perfection.
Grow with leisure,
Age with love.
You’ll leave
soon.

***

This was written for Colleen Chesebro’s Tanka Tuesday #121 – Slow and Work. 

For those of you who enjoyed my post about prompts last week, Tanka Tuesday is a great prompt for those who want to explore poetry, learn, create, and read.  I think it’s one of the great prompts of the week, and I wholeheartedly encourage you to join in!  

37 thoughts on “Labor and Leisure – #Nonet

    • H.R.R. Gorman says:

      When I wrote this, I was trying to imagine God’s joy at his creation of humanity (hence the focus on ribs) and how he might have wanted them to listen to him rather than take shortcuts like the snake/Satan offered. About halfway through the poem, I realized how parental it was, and I switched to a more symbolic version.

      • Miriam Hurdle says:

        I see. I find it true to my writing. I start from one angle and steer to another half way through. I find it surprising how the writing ends where I didn’t intent it to be in the beginning.
        A very good nonet, Gorman.

  1. Colleen Chesebro says:

    Wow! Thank you. What a great compliment. I know Jane Doughtery, Merril Smith, and I think, Frank Tassone also offer poetry challenges. Your Nonet (I read the comments) led me along until the last line! It’s almost a cutting commentary on love, life, relationships… Well done!! ❤

  2. Hélène - Willow Poetry says:

    Magnificent poem, gave me a warm feeling. It is sad to think they do eventually go. It seems to happen far too quickly for us mothers.

    • H.R.R. Gorman says:

      Thanks! I told Miriam earlier that this was (at least originally) intended as a poem from a creator deity to his/her/its creation, a deity worried about when humanity matured. As someone who doesn’t have kids, I was surprised and thrilled that this seemed to evoke parental feelings in others. It seemed fitting, in the long run!

      • Hélène - Willow Poetry says:

        This time I read your poem as you originally intended it to be. It is doubly fascinating and lovely that it can have both meaning. I feel that the deity must be deeply worried about us, her creation. When will we finally mature, or will it even happen. Thank you for such a magnificent poem.

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