Breath pushed into your lungs is enough.
After so much labor of love,
At last we’re allowed to meet.
I count your ribs, your fingers,
Enjoy sweet perfection.
Grow with leisure,
Age with love.
You’ll leave
soon.
***
This was written for Colleen Chesebro’s Tanka Tuesday #121 – Slow and Work.
For those of you who enjoyed my post about prompts last week, Tanka Tuesday is a great prompt for those who want to explore poetry, learn, create, and read. I think it’s one of the great prompts of the week, and I wholeheartedly encourage you to join in!
Let Me Tell You the Story of... 
Precious poetry this, HRR. excellent use of the synonyms this week.
Thanks! I originally wrote this as a poem about creation of humanity, from the viewpoint of a deity enjoying the little people recently made and worrying about their fragile futures. I thought that went well with the prompt.
It sure does! what a thought provoking back story. love it.
A lovely poem with a hint of sadness at the end.
Thank you! It’s a bittersweet ending, no matter how you read it.
This is beautiful, full of love and yet is a touch of poignancy. Gracefully done. 🙂 And I agree that Colleen’s challenges are amazingly fun.
Thanks! I am sorry for replying late – I thought I’d replied to you, but I’d not. Definitely enjoy getting Tanka Tuesday in my life!
WP does that to me too, lately. I know I’ve replied and yet it doesn’t go through. It’s all good.
Oh, I still think it was all me being delusional in this case, haha!
Oh! This poem is lovely!
Thanks! Glad you enjoyed.
Wow, sensational. I love Growth with leisure, Age with love… It’s no hurry to grow old with emptiness. 🙂
When I wrote this, I was trying to imagine God’s joy at his creation of humanity (hence the focus on ribs) and how he might have wanted them to listen to him rather than take shortcuts like the snake/Satan offered. About halfway through the poem, I realized how parental it was, and I switched to a more symbolic version.
I see. I find it true to my writing. I start from one angle and steer to another half way through. I find it surprising how the writing ends where I didn’t intent it to be in the beginning.
A very good nonet, Gorman.
Wow! Thank you. What a great compliment. I know Jane Doughtery, Merril Smith, and I think, Frank Tassone also offer poetry challenges. Your Nonet (I read the comments) led me along until the last line! It’s almost a cutting commentary on love, life, relationships… Well done!! ❤
I’ll have to look for those poetry challenges – I’m trying to keep a relatively-updated list of challenges and prompts even if I don’t participate!
And thanks for the compliments. It’s always encouraging when something goes well!
I wish I could participate in more challenges. There just isn’t enough in the day! I would love to share that list on the challenge if you’re interested. 😀
Sure – I need to have the weekend to update with those new challenges I’m learning about, but it’d be fine by me!
Cool! Thanks. ❤️ I’d like to add it as a page on my blog if you’re ok with that. ❤️
Sounds good. I plan on keeping my post updated; would you like me to alert you whenever I find a new prompt or discover that a prompt series has ended?
Would you mind? I would love for our poets to be able to find these challenges. I’ll also give attribution back to you. ❤
Sure – I will let you know if I find new stuff and make changes. I’ll add those new challenges you mentioned this weekend, too!
My big hope is that people will comment on your page and I’ll find new ones to add…
Me too. I’ll make a widget for folks to click too so they find the page. Great idea!
Ok – I didn’t find the contests you mentioned. They may be on hiatus or on a side blog, so I’ll keep a lookout.
Either way, the list does have a few additions, but it’s pretty good right now. Would you like me to send anything to you over email or something like that?
Yes, please. colleenchesebro3@gmail.com. I’ll ask for any other contests in the post and we can update from there. Thanks for your hard work. ❤
Magnificent poem, gave me a warm feeling. It is sad to think they do eventually go. It seems to happen far too quickly for us mothers.
Thanks! I told Miriam earlier that this was (at least originally) intended as a poem from a creator deity to his/her/its creation, a deity worried about when humanity matured. As someone who doesn’t have kids, I was surprised and thrilled that this seemed to evoke parental feelings in others. It seemed fitting, in the long run!
This time I read your poem as you originally intended it to be. It is doubly fascinating and lovely that it can have both meaning. I feel that the deity must be deeply worried about us, her creation. When will we finally mature, or will it even happen. Thank you for such a magnificent poem.
Thanks!
“Grow with leisure”
That line will stick with me for a long time. It’s a good one. 🙂
Thanks! It’s probably my best poem yet, if you ask me!
Lovely poem. The circle of life. The image is beautiful too. 😀
Thanks!
You’re welcome. 🙂
Beautiful… Poignant, yet powerful.
Thanks!