I’m a diamond –
See my perfect shine!
I’m prettier than you,
No need to whine.
So get in line
I ain’t got the time!
You don’t want a dollar
Waitin’ on a dime!
Your face is a crime,
So listen to me.
Tan that white skin,
Get some vitamin D.
Fat like your mommy,
You can’t wear that top.
Ain’t gettin’ no boyfriend
When you look like slop.
C’mon girl, chop-chop!
Your pits smell like waste!
And you gotta lose inches
Off that extra-large waist!
No wonder you’re chaste.
That hair’s a nightmare
With all that va-voom!
It’s like you don’t even care.
What’s that you declare?
You say I’m bad stuff?
Not even a diamond
In form most rough?
Shut up you’re stupid.
Your mom’s stupid.
Go home, idiot,
I hate you.
***
This was written for the Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest by Chelsea Owens! With the recent shut-down of FFfAW, I needed to find a new prompt – and this one looks super, super fun. We’ll see if I keep going!
This poem was also inspired by the Lindsay Lohan classic, Mean Girls, which my beloved recently made me watch for the first time. I was surprised and impressed by this movie.
You’ve been reading ‘Teen Vogue,’ again, haven’t you? The perfect message for teen girl who does. Good work!
I didn’t even know Teen Vogue was a thing!
And this is the ‘Bad Poetry’ contest – hopefully it’s bad work, haha!
You know how sometimes an ugly dog is so ugly, it’s cute…
Ahhhh
I was just trying to emulate the movie “Mean Girls,” haha.
I know — and you did a good job.
Haha, thanks!
Now, I’m gonna go watch the movie…
I didn’t think I’d like it and was pleasantly surprised.
That was great!! I love that terrible poetry contest. I entered too but I’m holding my post off till Friday after the deadline.. Stiff competition here !!!
I entered because if I win this one on my first try, I’ll know I have a way to go before I can be hopeful with Tanka Tuesday, haha!
Lol!!!
Haha the Mean Girls vibes are strong with this poem 😂. I loved it though! Lot of fun to read!
Glad you liked it! =P
I was at a woman’s group once and the question arose about what made us happy.
Too many thought of jewels and their next vacation.
Me I’m more simple. I’d rather watch a rain storm with thunder and lightning 😉
Happiness is fleeting – but a good rainstorm is indeed soothing.
I literally chuckled out loud after reading this one. I know it’s supposed to be terrible, but it’s awesome lol!
Well, I lost the contest! Must have been too good, haha!