Itsy Bitsy Spider – The Mediocre Rap Version

nature outside insect macro

Sleep is for the weak
SON
So listen to these ill tweaks
To the story of the real OG.

Itsy bitsy spider
In the house.

Climb up that waterspout.
Going up clean aluminum,
Ain’t touching that nasty grout.

But here comes the rain!
Aluminum’s too slick now!
Give them a world of PAIN!

Gonna bust a cap
In the weatherman
Lying to me bout this crap.

How am I gonna spin a web
When it’s wet outside?
Let me call up buddy Jeb!

Ring Ring
Ring Ring
Ring Ring

“Hello?  Nuclear Fire you say?
That’s the way I like it –
Radiation everyday!”

Dry up that pipe and climb
Reach the top of the drain
And rejoice with sick rhyme.

Word.

***

This was written for the Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest on Chelsea Owens’s blog.  This week, the topic was Nursery Rhymes – so I chose “Itsy Bitsy Spider.”  The picture alone has to get me points to win.  

Also, I know little to nothing about rap… so I’m working off bad stereotypes.  Sorry.

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31 thoughts on “Itsy Bitsy Spider – The Mediocre Rap Version

    1. Tarantulas aren’t allowed as pets in NZ?! That’s actually surprising to me. Even though it’s not my desire and never will be, I don’t think they make bad pets except for the fact that females can live for 30 years (and you have to be able to commit to that kind of timeframe).

  1. Pingback: WINNER of the Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest | Chelsea Ann Owens

      1. Ah, we obviously don’t study the same music history podcasts! Either way, I shan’t rap – ‘twould be an embarrassment, and it would spoil the secret of what gender I am irl, haha!

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