Itsy Bitsy Spider – The Mediocre Rap Version

nature outside insect macro

Sleep is for the weak
So listen to these ill tweaks
To the story of the real OG.

Itsy bitsy spider
In the house.

Climb up that waterspout.
Going up clean aluminum,
Ain’t touching that nasty grout.

But here comes the rain!
Aluminum’s too slick now!
Give them a world of PAIN!

Gonna bust a cap
In the weatherman
Lying to me bout this crap.

How am I gonna spin a web
When it’s wet outside?
Let me call up buddy Jeb!

Ring Ring
Ring Ring
Ring Ring

“Hello?  Nuclear Fire you say?
That’s the way I like it –
Radiation everyday!”

Dry up that pipe and climb
Reach the top of the drain
And rejoice with sick rhyme.



This was written for the Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest on Chelsea Owens’s blog.  This week, the topic was Nursery Rhymes – so I chose “Itsy Bitsy Spider.”  The picture alone has to get me points to win.  

Also, I know little to nothing about rap… so I’m working off bad stereotypes.  Sorry.

33 thoughts on “Itsy Bitsy Spider – The Mediocre Rap Version

  1. Sophia Ismaa says:

    Oh, I 100% believe that this is the inner dialogue/rap of spiders. Those slick bitches know they inspire so much fear from humans, they know they’re the Eminem/Tupac of animals/insect/arachnid world.

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