#CountVlad – Taxes and the IRS

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i am guest author on h.r.r. gorman’s page – count vlad dracula tepes

recently i have seen many americans doing their taxes.  i was very disappointed when i realized this involved a lot less physical carting off to prison and rampant violence against tax collectors but i suppose you instead inflict a different kind of pain on your constituents.

i decided to evaluate your new kind of blood tax by helping hrr gorman with tax forms.  soon i realized that the difficulty in the tax forms includes a two pronged approach of complex instructions and promise of legal reprisal upon doing it incorrectly.  while your irs promises not to care about it as long as they get their money it does confer a lot of stress upon the taxpayer.  i like that.

however no blood was spilled the entire time hrr gorman and family filled out the tax forms.  no one in the entire neighborhood had to sacrifice a firstborn and as far as i know zero people were accosted.  what a low percentage of actual reprisal.  if your irs is as full of vampires and bloodsuckers as you say then they are doing a terrible job.  if i worked for the irs a lot more blood would be sent to me in lieu of payment.

in the end i decided your tax system is terrible.  f-.

***

Count Vlad Dracula Tepes was invited against H.R.R. Gorman’s best interest, but he swears that anti-vampire racism will one day come back to literally bite us all.  Not one to rock the boat, H.R.R. Gorman set Dracula up with this limited WordPress blogging account.   

Dracula doesn’t like typing, looking at computer screens, or garlic.  He enjoys dark sunsets, nights out on the town, and type O+. 

7 thoughts on “#CountVlad – Taxes and the IRS

  1. Violet Lentz says:

    I just love Count Vlad, he has some ideas that hit quite close to home, seeing as how I just did my taxes yesterday and ended up in the hole a couple of bucks.. I would rather have sent them a pint or two…

    • H.R.R. Gorman says:

      Oh, it definitely can be. I also feel like it’s so much easier to pay your taxes when you mostly agree with the most recently passed budget.

      I’ve always wondered, though… what would happen if the budget were determined by taxpayers? I.e., when you fill out your tax forms (no change in tax rate), you choose a department or a goal toward which your money would go. I get the feeling we’d basically decide to cure several cancers, Alzheimer’s, etc., but then we’d completely forego other benefits. I’d love to see what would happen, but also frightened because I’d fear we’d severely underpay the military.

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