Secret Agent Man

silhouette agents

Steele steeled his stance,
Fighting for freedom in France,
Really ready to reel Russians
In and insinuate intrigue.

Dreaded documents dredged
Up from underworld undertakings
Show sinister situations,
Blackmail baking in baddies’ brains.

He humps his home-movie
Back to bloody Britain
And advocates for absolution
Of the outstanding ordeal.

Friends faint following the film,
So he sends some signals
At an American agent
That things are taking turns.

But Bob believes his boss.
Pee-pee parties with presidents
Are too astronomically atrocious
For free freedmen to finagle.

So Steele steels his stance,
Takes tea at the typical time,
Cares about the Six Counties, and
Watches the world wither.


This was written for the Terrible Poetry Contest #17, under the table dealings, run by Chelsea Owens.  I do have to say that this is, by far, the worst poem I believe I’ve yet published on WP.  

Also sorry for the political intrigue, but pee-pee parties have to be one of the worst possible subjects to write about. 

15 thoughts on “Secret Agent Man

  1. Jackie says:

    You’re in contention for the win, my friend! I think it was the alliteration overwhelm that did it for me! Haha!

  2. tnkerr says:

    I wasn’t going to… I wondered what had happened to you… Then I saw it was for the Terrible Poetry Contest.
    Then I had to like it. Then I realize that you still had it. Then I thought that you should probably win.
    Well done.

  3. Chelsea Owens says:

    This was just a bit too clever for a terrible rating! 😀

    Though, forcing someone through all those awesome alliterations just might be a good first 50 years of torture in the afterlife. 😉

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