one of the most amazing things you mortal sacks of flesh and blood have invented since i awakened from my ensorceled crypt is video technology. i remember being stunned by movies and wondering how mortals had summoned the magic to create them. then video games were introduced to me and i was stunned. through a crystal screen you can interact with another dimension, not just watch and rewatch alternate events.
so i asked if i could participate and hrr gorman said i was going to be bad at it at first. i was tasked with beating the game portal and told that i could take my time learning controls.
let me tell you first about portal. you possess the body of an otherworldly woman named chell which is a terrible name. a sacred goddess from above directs you to solve puzzles.
i love this goddess. i must beat this game so that i can seek her castle and meet her. she may be separated from me by a crystal screen but her cruelty and intense personality. i hope she is not a vampire so that i can turn her and gain her everlasting gratitude. however i have no real hope that this is true because none of you fleshbags have such intense cruelty within you.
Count Vlad Dracula Tepes was invited against H.R.R. Gorman’s best interest, but he swears that anti-vampire racism will one day come back to literally bite us all. Not one to rock the boat, H.R.R. Gorman set Dracula up with this limited WordPress blogging account.
Dracula doesn’t like typing, looking at computer screens, or garlic. He enjoys dark sunsets, nights out on the town, and type O+.