#CountVlad – Attempt at Poetry


i am guest author on h.r.r. gorman’s page – count vlad dracula tepes

i have seen on one of the blogs i follow that april is going to be poetry month.  i am a couple hundred years out of practice with poetry so i thought i would start with the terrible poetry contest.  this week the theme is unrequited love.

i apologize for some slant rhymes im out of practice.  also i dont know how to make capital letters on the computer so please help.


though you grew up on some farms
how could i resist your charms?

you may be only nineteen
and i five hundred thirteen

but thats fine with me you see
because im not so picky.

ill kill that doctor you love
and wear his skin like a glove.

then youll love me forever
no betrayal whatsoever.


You can see above that Dracula doesn’t know how to do capital letters, so you can bet your bottom dollar that he isn’t going to understand hyperlinks.  This was his response to the Chelsea Owens Terrible Poetry Contest #14, Unrequited love.

Count Vlad Dracula Tepes was invited against H.R.R. Gorman’s best interest, but he swears that anti-vampire racism will one day come back to literally bite us all.  Not one to rock the boat, H.R.R. Gorman set Dracula up with this limited WordPress blogging account.   

Dracula doesn’t like typing, looking at computer screens, or garlic.  He enjoys dark sunsets, nights out on the town, and type O+. 

17 thoughts on “#CountVlad – Attempt at Poetry

    • Count Vlad Dracula Tepes says:

      voting is silly. all you new people think democracy is good well let me tell you that the masses aren’t smart enough to govern themselves. all of your governmental inventions since i’ve been in my ensorcelled crypt have only led to this mistaken thought that voting is important.

      but i suppose i should be thankful since you obviously believe it is good.

    • Count Vlad Dracula Tepes says:

      i also get my fix of humans on sunday. you go to church and drink blood of christ, i stay home and lure in blood of whoever stumbles upon my way.

  1. Jules says:

    Vlad welcome to the newer age. Some stings never change. The lure of love (um, blood)…

    There is some poetic justice in a Vampire writing poetry. I think there was a movie once called ‘The Dead Poets Society’ where only dead poets were studied. But you’re alive! Well in that most technical of seances. (yeah I purposely use words that may or may not fit – I have an old soul that is a tad rebellious.)

  2. Hélène - Willow Poetry says:

    Vlad, your poetry rhymes, so that shows you are ready to learn. Someone will find a way to brainwash you and help you forget about blood. Isn’t that promising! You need to behave here since you are a guest, but I leave that to H.R.R. Gorman, see all those initials he has and those little dots, you better mind your manners.

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