#CountVlad – FDA Approval Process


i am guest author on h.r.r. gorman’s page – count vlad dracula tepes

it is official that red tape and bureacracy is garbage.

tons of people are clamoring for me to start offering my patented process [H.R.R. Gorman edit: To understand this sentence, you may want to read the count’s last post about inventing vampiric liposuction]. many can’t afford to get fat freezing done. why just do an internet search for cryoablation clinics near you and you’ll see where all the rich people live in your town.

this is a vital service i’m providing for the cheap cheap price of blood and cash. how dare these people say it takes months or years for new procedures to get approval.

well at least they’re letting me start clinical trials. the problem is i have to come up with a way to ensure the procedure’s safety and i’m not sure what they mean by that.


Count Vlad Dracula Tepes was invited against H.R.R. Gorman’s best interest, but he swears that anti-vampire racism will one day come back to literally bite us all.  Not one to rock the boat, H.R.R. Gorman set Dracula up with this limited WordPress blogging account.   

Dracula doesn’t like typing, looking at computer screens, or garlic.  He enjoys dark sunsets, nights out on the town, and type O+. 

9 thoughts on “#CountVlad – FDA Approval Process

  1. Jules says:

    I think the only thing in common with your process and the bureaucracy is the color red.
    Good luck. 🙂
    Having a good reputation for your services is ‘priceless’.

    • Count Vlad Dracula Tepes says:

      Marketing can indeed go foul after you impale a few people, yeah. Found that out the hard way.

    • Count Vlad Dracula Tepes says:

      Thank you for your response. I am doing the best I can to get a great product out to the people.

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