An Anniversary Message

They say marriage is about sparks,
About that someone who in the dark
Sets your mind and loins aflame.
But isn’t that meager? Lame?

I’ve learned in this blissful year
That’s it’s more like cracking a beer
Open and accepting farts
Are made by those with good hearts.

So while I take a hot shower,
You grunt on the throne with power.
It’s the sign of your loving care
That you keep pooping and don’t stare.

Happy Anniversary!*

This was written for Chel Owens’s A Mused Poetry Contest for 2 October 2020. I got my idea from these stupid things online about how “I wish everyone would realize love is about little things like snuggling or getting to the point where you don’t care about each others’ farts!”

Yeah, maybe you’re right, but it’s also just not terribly fun to think about in terms of romance. So here I go, making fun of those things.

*It’s not my actual anniversary.

Photo by Designecologist on

39 thoughts on “An Anniversary Message

    • H.R.R. Gorman says:

      Lololol – it’s why when people have those “poops and farts are what love’s really about” posts that I become skeptical. It could be a sign you’re doing well together, but it could also be a sign you’re bored. I don’t think there’s any sure-fired way to know it’s forever unless one or both of you dies while still together.

      • crispina kemp says:

        I don’t believe in forever. Those I know who have been together for what seems like together, are together for reasons other than love. They just don’t broadcast it. It’s not good press.
        OOH, I do believe affection strengthens over time so we don’t want to be without our other. Then they die and there is no way to replace them

      • H.R.R. Gorman says:

        That describes my father’s parents. They both claimed to want to outlive the other so they could just see that person die. My grandma died last year (at 92, don’t feel bad), and they’d been married since 1945 with all the violence, hate, and difficulty you could imagine.

    • H.R.R. Gorman says:

      Haha – thanks!

      Personally, I don’t think there’s really any sure-fired signs of a good marriage. I wrote this to make fun of those posts claiming these are the things that real love is made of. There’s no single, all-encompasing standard of love or coupledom that can determine how good others’ love is or isn’t.

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