They say marriage is about sparks,
About that someone who in the dark
Sets your mind and loins aflame.
But isn’t that meager? Lame?
I’ve learned in this blissful year
That’s it’s more like cracking a beer
Open and accepting farts
Are made by those with good hearts.
So while I take a hot shower,
You grunt on the throne with power.
It’s the sign of your loving care
That you keep pooping and don’t stare.
Happy Anniversary!*
This was written for Chel Owens’s A Mused Poetry Contest for 2 October 2020. I got my idea from these stupid things online about how “I wish everyone would realize love is about little things like snuggling or getting to the point where you don’t care about each others’ farts!”
Yeah, maybe you’re right, but it’s also just not terribly fun to think about in terms of romance. So here I go, making fun of those things.
*It’s not my actual anniversary.
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Bravo! So raw and true 🤔😂
Haha, thanks!
Has me chuckling. Husband #3 insisted a couple that shat together stayed together. That marriage lasted less than a year. So much for that theory.
Lololol – it’s why when people have those “poops and farts are what love’s really about” posts that I become skeptical. It could be a sign you’re doing well together, but it could also be a sign you’re bored. I don’t think there’s any sure-fired way to know it’s forever unless one or both of you dies while still together.
I don’t believe in forever. Those I know who have been together for what seems like together, are together for reasons other than love. They just don’t broadcast it. It’s not good press.
OOH, I do believe affection strengthens over time so we don’t want to be without our other. Then they die and there is no way to replace them
That describes my father’s parents. They both claimed to want to outlive the other so they could just see that person die. My grandma died last year (at 92, don’t feel bad), and they’d been married since 1945 with all the violence, hate, and difficulty you could imagine.
You’ve just told a stpry complete with arc… in how many words?
Lord, too few. Too few.
This is funny. I especially love the line ‘You grunt on the throne with power’ XD great use of words there.
Haha, thanks!
Some of us never get there, H. I will have been married 20 years in February and I would have a fit if my husband did these things. A great poem for this challenge.
Haha – thanks!
Personally, I don’t think there’s really any sure-fired signs of a good marriage. I wrote this to make fun of those posts claiming these are the things that real love is made of. There’s no single, all-encompasing standard of love or coupledom that can determine how good others’ love is or isn’t.
You are right about that. We are at the age and stage when a lot of marriages are failing. It’s strange how you go through engagements, weddings, baptisms and birthday parties in your 20s and 30s. Now in our 40s its divorces and funerals of parents – horrible.
Oh my god – don’t make me dread that! (I’m still young, I guess)
Lol. This cracked me up, but it’s so true. There’s something about love becoming more and more comfortable. Great take on the prompt!
Haha – I think no two relationships are the same. Some people would probably find this sort of anniversary message telling, and others not so much! 🙂
I saw Robbie’s comment and had to smile. We aren’t quite as laid back as the couple in your poem, but not far off either!
Haha – when we lived in California, it was very close quarters, and sometimes it wasn’t an option!
Cheers to your odiferous celebration of wedded bliss!
LOL! Well done! I loved it! ❤
Hahahaha, my husband just made a big fart. I didn’t think too much of it but he said, “Excuse me.” ❤
Well, what a sweet idea to ask for an excuse me. Made me laugh.
My granddaughter said that also when she did. She learned it from the daycare teachers. She was 2 1/2, so it was cute when she said ‘excuse me.’
Ah the delights of the shared bathroom. Splendid – the poem not the poop
I don’t know, sometimes poops can be splendid.
Oh that is so my world… why don’t they have a world faeces day? Maybe they do. I think it made my day when I discovered there was the Bristol Stool Chart, created by the medical branch of my old university! https://www.gutsense.org/constipation/normal_stools.html what a world! Sorry, was that too much information?
Not TMI because apparently I’m also terrible. I’ve seen that chart around, and I must say I like it. If it were allowed at work, I’ve thought it might be fun to put printouts of it in the stalls so people can start rating their poops on the regular.
I imagine, when intelligent toilets become a thing they will assess each poop and allocate the appropriate quantity of paper
If it’s an intelligent toilet, I would expect it to also bidae.
This cracked me up! Romance has been romanticized so much, but it really is the little things that keep love alive.
I think love is work. You don’t put anything in, you don’t get anything out.
LOL Ah yes, the reality of relationships! 🙂
Little things, forgiveness, and work make relationships, after all.
Absolutely! 🙂
You sentimental fool, you!
Totally
Like opening a beer… Fresh and tasty for aluttlewhile, then it soon becomes undrinkable.I imagine 😀
I’m married for 8+ years, and still loving it. Still, my parents went 25 years before breaking up, so I suppose it can happen anytime.