A Mean Girl

attractive beautiful beautiful girl beauty

I’m a diamond –
See my perfect shine!
I’m prettier than you,
No need to whine.

So get in line
I ain’t got the time!
You don’t want a dollar
Waitin’ on a dime!

Your face is a crime,
So listen to me.
Tan that white skin,
Get some vitamin D.

Fat like your mommy,
You can’t wear that top.
Ain’t gettin’ no boyfriend
When you look like slop.

C’mon girl, chop-chop!
Your pits smell like waste!
And you gotta lose inches
Off that extra-large waist!

No wonder you’re chaste.
That hair’s a nightmare
With all that va-voom!
It’s like you don’t even care.

What’s that you declare?
You say I’m bad stuff?
Not even a diamond
In form most rough?

Shut up you’re stupid.
Your mom’s stupid.
Go home, idiot,
I hate you.


This was written for the Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest by Chelsea Owens!  With the recent shut-down of FFfAW, I needed to find a new prompt – and this one looks super, super fun.  We’ll see if I keep going!

This poem was also inspired by the Lindsay Lohan classic, Mean Girls, which my beloved recently made me watch for the first time.  I was surprised and impressed by this movie.