Time’s Running Out! “If I Only Had No Heart” is Going Away SOON

If I Only had No Heart is Heading to The Vault!

If I Only Had No Heart_Small

The 2016 If I Only Had No Heart was written for a National Novel Writing Month and follows one of the most unique ideas I’ve ever had. It’s a bloody sword-and-sorcery fantasy focused on an awakened machine main character. And, what’s more, it’s currently available for free on the blog.

Quick summary to tease them tastebuds:

Spirit, an acolyte of the machine goddess, performs her duties well and still yet absorbs much torment from her superiors. Thought to be a viral creation, the android is banned from speaking with the goddess until, one day, her friend Klavdiya hands her a prayer card. Spirit hopes that the prayer card will bring her peace, but the goddess has other ideas…

However, this book won’t be free for long! Next week, the Free, Downloadable PDF of If I Only Had No Heart is going away for an unspecified amount of time (maybe even forever), so you’ll need to get it NOW if you want to read it.

Why Am I Doing This?

Though I can attest that the story itself is extremely unique and follows an intriguing plot, it hasn’t been edited quite as well as something I would like to have self or traditionally published for money. In an effort to either show only my best work, I’m taking down all serially posted novels on my website. Evolution of the Predator is already a couple months into the removal process, so get into this one while you have the chance!

Don’t Let the Vault Swallow This Quietly!

Go to the If I Only Had No Heart home page and either read each post (removal dates posted on each chapter) or download the PDF while they last.

Are there any online serials you’ve enjoyed reading? Let me know in the comments!

Cheers and happy reading!

Late May Newsletter

Hello, all! I usually do my monthly updates at the beginning of the month, but this time – June 2020 – I decided I needed to do this update a little early!

Why?

Well… you’ll see. ūüėČ

Dark Divinations is out!

DarkDivBanner Dark Divinations Horror Addicts

The first anthology I’ve participated in –¬†Dark Divinations –¬†is available on Amazon! People have asked if they’re doing anything other than Amazon, but I don’t think that’s available right now. Amazon’s the easiest and biggest market right now, but I know they own their own rights and ISBNs, so they could expand in the future if they wish. I’ll update if it changes.

But, in bigger news for the blogging folk, Dark Divinations gave me a great excuse to create new profiles you may not have seen.

My profile pic is now an actual picture instead of the ye olde Grandfather Mountain landscape you’re used to. Now it’s just sexy as hell.

Amazon Author Page and Facebook Page

The¬†Dark Divinations team wanted a recording of us reading our story – and, if you go to my twoFacebook page (sorry, Chelsea, but I loved that term too much to not use), you can watch the video I made and hear a sample of “Miss Mae’s Prayers”.

But don’t expect much out of the Facebook page – I frikkin’ don’t like Facebook, and I feel like just having something on there makes me a hypocrite. Feel free to follow or share it around if you want (I don’t care), but I only plan on using it for truly official crap like when a publisher makes me or if it would really help the anthology out (like making the vid for their watch party).

And! AND! The same publication meant it was time for me to get an Amazon Author Page! It’s just got that anthology for now, but maybe – just maybe – that will grow one day! I’m pursuing the traditional publishing route, though, so I wouldn’t expect that to be soon.

Carrot Ranch Column

My new profile pic actually made a stealth debut in my latest Carrot Ranch column. Check it out down at the bottom!

into the past carrot ranch square

In this column, I talk about a powerful and underappreciated influencer from American history: Sequoyah, the inventor of the Cherokee syllabary. Ride over to the ranch if you want to know more!

Wattpad Journey: OVER

I didn’t make the longlist with my weirdo Wattpad story¬†Our Lady of Perdition, but honestly I didn’t expect it. It’s clearly an adult tale with a ton of symbolism and metaphor that in no way works with the target audience (and, thus, the judges) of the Open Novella contest. I’m actually honored to have made it as far as I did!

So, if you want to read an approx. 20k story about WWII pilots landing on a really terrible island, you can go here!

Our Lady of Perdition

WORK

Ok, I’ll admit it – the big reason I’m not as available now is I got a job. A job making drugs.

I don’t think it will keep me away forever, but the initial push to get myself up to speed and doing well has taken quite a bit of effort. I can feel that stress of being new letting up, but it’s not quite done yet.

(Also, secret secret… I had a video game I wanted to play this month, so even my free time ended up going to complete waste, haha!)

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What all sorts of things have you done this month? Anything you’d like me to check out? Leave them in the comments!

 

Time’s Running Out! “Evolution of the Predator” is Going Away SOON

UPDATE 30 May 2020: This has been updated to account for the takedown of the book.

Evolution of the Predator is Heading to The Vault!

The Evolution of the Predator

The 2015 Evolution of the Predator was written during a National Novel Writing Month and follows an idea I’d had for quite some time. It’s a quaint survival science fiction currently available for free on the blog.

Antoinette crash lands on the planet Osmina, home to a xenophobic species still in an early, tribal phase of development. In order to uphold Earth‚Äôs directive to remain as uninvolved as possible with alien life, she tries to remain hidden and survive for the two years before a rescue party will arrive. A curious elder cast out of its nomadic tribe throws a wrench in her plans and efforts, pitting Antoinette’s conscience against her duty.

However, this book won’t be free for long! Next week, the Free, Downloadable PDF¬†of Evolution of the Predator is going away for an unspecified amount of time (maybe even forever), so you’ll need to get it NOW if you want to read it.

Why Am I Doing This?

Though I can attest that the story itself is pretty interesting, especially if you’re into heady, quiet sci-fi, it hasn’t been edited quite as well as something I would like to have self or traditionally published. In an effort to either show only my best work or participate with the community, I’m taking down all serially posted novels on my website, starting with¬†Evolution of the Predator.

Don’t Let the Vault Swallow This Quietly!

Go to the Evolution of the Predator home page and either read each post (removal dates posted on each chapter) or download the PDF while they last.

Have you posted any work serially? Leave a comment below so that I or other readers can check out the story! I understand from experience how hard it is to do a serial because readers who don’t start when you post part one are rarely going to head to the beginning and churn through the rest. How did you keep your serial going?

Cheers and happy reading!

May 2020 Author Newsletter

Hello there, Friends and Stuff!¬†I’m excited to enter a new month and bring you some new and brilliant updates!

Dark Divinations – A Victorian Horror Anthology

DarkDivBanner Dark Divinations Horror Addicts

First,¬†Dark Divinations¬†debuted on May 1st. You can order it now in paperback on Amazon. If you want to get the party pack, you can still get that here! Later this month, I’ll be posting updates about some special videos going up on Facebook… you’ll want to get in on that for sure!

Open Novella Contest

Whaaaat!? I made it through Round 2 of the contest? I couldn’t believe it. My novella, a 25,000-word story about a gay WWII pilot who crashes and washes up on an island reminiscent of Dante’s Inferno, actually had enough score to make it through. You can find the novella¬†here if you’re interested.

Our Lady of Perdition

Do I think it will win? Hell no. It’s the most artsy-fartsy thing I’ve written in my entire life, and it seems like Wattpad is more interested in YA-focused romantic fantasies or something a bit more… commercial. But the fact I’ve made it through round 2 is really pleasing, because it means the story’s well written enough to make it through despite sounding like it was written by a person totally not in Wattpad’s primary audience.

Changes on the Blog

You’ll notice a few (somewhat unfortunate) changes on the blog. Let’s start with the good and move our way to the bad!

Home Page Updates

My home page has been updated – now it’s easier to find the How-To articles by clicking on the Witty Nib Writing Club. There’s also a new blog-roll going where you can access recent posts more easily.

Expect New Graphics in June

I’m preparing for a few big changes that will go up in June and will reflect some of the things associated with the¬†Dark Divinations anthology. If you stick around and watch the video watch party on Facebook, you may be surprised to see an interesting face and hear a terrible voice! To go along with these revelations, my avatar and a few other pieces of the website will be changing.

Witty Nib Writing Club Changes

06092019 Writing Club witty nibSadly, the prompts and attempts at collaboration with the Club didn’t quite turn out. I’m ever grateful to Robbie Cheadle for her response to the research prompt, but I think among the corner of blogs I survey, there’s a plentitude of prompts. As a result, the Witty Nib Writing Club will change from a monthly prompt and informative post to a monthly informative post alone. You can still join in the club using the comments, but I thought it’s time to retire the club. Maybe I’ll start something easier up in the future!

More Professional Foci

Something I’ve realized in the past few months – while I’ve not had a real job – is that blogging, sadly, doesn’t further professional writing credentials. It does help me meet new people who I love to follow, obtain new info about upcoming releases, and fulfill a long-term audience goal, but it takes up so much time. So much. I’ve decided to reduce the time spent on my blog in order to attempt more short story submissions, perhaps consider doing a poetry submission, and finish my newest novel.

Sadly, I’m probably not going to be reading as many blogs or be quite as responsive. I’ll give it my best shot, but that’s all I can promise!

I’ll also be (at least temporarily) closed to beta reading requests, and any book review requests (while still open) will not be completed for quite some time.

Speaking of Novels…

I’ve got several novels up on the blog: American Chimera, If I Only Had No Heart, and Evolution of the Predator. You can click on each of these links to see their representative pages. However, these links aren’t going to work forever. No – I’m going to be taking my novels down, one at a time, starting at the end of the month with¬†Evolution of the Predator. I was pretty torn when making this decision, but ultimately I think it needs to happen.

The reason for this decision is because they’re second drafts, beta read only by my partner, and they’re not representative of my best work. Because I seek to present a higher level of professionalism, I’m taking the oldest work – Evolution of the Predator – down first because it represents that which was written at my least mature point. That will start at the end of this month, May 2020.

It’s Not Too Late to Catch These Novels!

Nope! Until May 30th, all novels will be available for download. You should head to their pages and download the PDF files if you want to save them for later reading.

Evolution of the Predator

On May 23rd, 2020, I’ll have a reminder post telling about the imminent takedown of the novel. On May 30th, 2020, the downloadable PDF of Evolution of the Predator will be taken down from the¬†Evolution of the Predator page. Starting on June 6th, I will take the post containing the first chapter down. Following that, one chapter will be taken down per week (as long as I don’t forget – but I’ll handle it as soon as I can). They’ll be removed in order from first chapter to last with the hopes that potential readers will be able to read one chapter per week without losing access (though I will probably email you chapters if you ask nicely). The page already lists the dates I plan to take down each chapter. The page and entire story will be gone on November 14th, 2020. All links to it on the site will be broken, though I will attempt to remove links by hand as I can.

If I Only Had No Heart

On July 18th, 2020, I will post a reminder that If I Only Had No Heart will be ending soon. On July 25th, 2020, the PDF will be removed from the If I Only Had No Heart page. On August 8th, the first chapter will be removed. One chapter will removed per week after, starting with the first chapter and ending with the last chapter. The page and entire story will be gone on November 14th, 2020. All links to it on the site will be broken, though I will attempt to remove links by hand as I can.

American Chimera

Don’t worry about this baby for now! I’m still posting this one serially, and she won’t be finished posting until December 2020. It’s also a pretty good little book, just needs some editing. However, I will be taking it down sometime in 2021 (not yet planned fully), so catch it while you can!

What About You?

Do you have any cool new things going on in May? Any excellent accomplishments in April? I’d love to hear about them to celebrate and/or commiserate with you! Cheers!

Where’s HRR Going?

So, funny story…

This thing likes to lay on the fan vents of my laptop.And would you believe it – the fans stopped working.

At this moment, I do not have an internet-connectable computer on which I feel comfortable logging in to WP. I have my phone, but you know what a horrible thing it is to type on a phone.

Sadly, this means I probably won’t be making posts until that thing returns. I will slow in reading everyone else’s stuff. NOTHING WILL GET DONE AND I WILL BE UPSET.Hopefully Covid won’t delay my return too long. I expect 2 weeks right now.

I will be pn Twitter some, but my Goodreads is basically going dark until I get back. ūüė¶

H.R.R. Gorman’s Author Newsletter – March 2020

March has been both good and bad for me – good because I’ve finally gotten my mom into her house (and, subsequently, out of my own), but bad because I still don’t have a job and the fall-apart-economy isn’t going to help me with those prospects.

In terms of writing,  however, I have a couple exciting announcements that I wanted everyone to know about.

History Columnist at the Carrot Ranch

Earlier this month, Charli Mills of the Carrot Ranch offered me the chance to write a history column every other month on her blog. I did a double take, had a heart attack, and thought, “No way, this wonderful thing can’t be happening to me.”

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But I said yes anyway because dang, I love history, I love writing, and this seems exactly like something I wanted to do.

And, wouldn’t you know it, we’re living in a historical time period¬†right now. My first column, “The Not-so-Spanish Spanish Flu“, is already up on the Carrot Ranch! Give it a look see and think about writing a response on your blog!

Thank you, Charli, for this wonderful opportunity.

I Passed Round One of the Open Novella Contest

On Wattpad, there’s this thing called the Open Novella Contest. I learned about it on Sammi Cox’s blog post, so I thought, “What the hell. Her story¬†The Winter Ghost was great last year, and maybe I’ll have fun and learn a new system.”

Our Lady of PerditionSo I’m writing a story called Our Lady of Perdition for the contest. It made it through judging round one which, given the number of people who made it through, probably just means I followed directions and didn’t write something too offensive or extensively bad. However,¬† I am getting close to finishing the story, and I’ll Wattpad-publish the last part of the book once the second round of judging is done.

Blurb:

Two Navy airmen go on a night mission with the hopes of destroying an island outpost before a typhoon makes the attack infeasible. The gunner and the pilot activate their dive bomber’s life raft, but the storm washes them away from their allies – and their enemies. Once the storm clears and the soldiers awaken, they find themselves beached on an uncharted island.

But it soon becomes apparent they didn’t find the island as much as the island found them…

I’m Querying – But I Need Help!

The Mercury DimensionThis was my New Year’s Resolution in 2018, 2019,¬†and 2020. The previous years I did this, I couldn’t follow through. I had the book pretty finished in 2018 but didn’t try querying. I really,¬†really had it finished in 2019, but couldn’t make myself do it. Part of this was trying to graduate, and part was this utter fear of rejection for a book that I worked so hard on. Now, though?

If this book is to go anywhere, I need to act.

This is where you might come in: I wrote a query, got a few of my beta readers (thank you Marnie and Sam!) to help improve it, and am now looking for a couple additional readers.¬†If you haven’t read¬†The Mercury Dimension,¬†I would be extremely appreciative of your help reading the query letter. My goal is to see if someone who doesn’t know the book would understand and be attracted by the blurb.

If you want to read the 1-page document and make suggestions, let me know in the comments or in an e-mail.

*Small update: I’ve gotten some volunteers, so the pressure’s off – but feel free to contact me if you’re super interested anyway!

What Are You Doing?

What kinds of things have you been up to during the quarantine? Got a bunch of writing done? Huzzah!

In the Garden

Flowers

My grandmother died on December 27th, 2019. As I reminisced about her during my sudden absence from blog world, I thought about her garden.

“Come down and get you some squash.”

“Come down and get you a mess of beans.”

“Come down and get some of these tomatoes—I got too many.”

I’m willing to bet most of my relatives have heard these words coming over the phone from my grandmother, Ruth. They were utterances of a joyful labor, of a work that brought great gifts and symbolized an even greater love. She grew so many vegetables and fruits, and I don’t think there was a gardening method she hadn’t tried, tested, and judged. I remember looking forward to our own summer corn just to get some of that delicious Peaches n’ Cream variety a week or two early from her. I remember the size of the beans she grew, and some of those enormous tomatoes weighed so heavy on the vine until ripe.

As Jesus said,

3 And he spake many things unto them in parables, saying, Behold, a sower went forth to sow;
4 And when he sowed, some seeds fell by the way side, and the fowls came and devoured them up:
5 Some fell upon stony places, where they had not much earth: and forthwith they sprung up, because they had no deepness of earth:
6 And when the sun was up, they were scorched; and because they had no root, they withered away.
7 And some fell among thorns; and the thorns sprung up, and choked them:
8 But other fell into good ground, and brought forth fruit, some an hundredfold, some sixtyfold, some thirtyfold.
—Matthew 13:3-8

The parable speaks of a grain growing on its own, but Mamaw knew something more about how plants worked, and her example shows the truth behind these verses. My grandmother was something special because she prepared the ground to be good. It’s almost never enough to just let it fall where it may and hope for the best, and she knew this moreso than anyone.

Where her seed and plantlings would go, she cleared the way, made sure there was a loamy surface with plenty of fertilizer. Where there was thirsty ground during a drought season, she was prepared with a water hose or a bucket. I remember the relative success of her garden in that scorching summer of 2002, when it barely rained at all during the dog days. I remember the ever-constant battle against deer and squirrels, how she’d even collect human hair from a salon and strew it about to scare off the menaces. She’d prune the suckers off tomatoes, cut out the unyielding pieces and tend the good branches.

Mamaw knew how to tend a garden. She knew how to make the way for her plants, knew how to create the good soil rather than expect it to just be there or expect the field to remain suitable throughout tyhe growing season.

If you know a good person and a Christian by their fruits, then her works make it obvious. Her garden alone was a significant labor and a source of her charity. She may have been quiet, sometimes she may not have said the right thing, but these were just words and that wasn’t how she showed love anyway. She showed it through a basket of squash, through a full stomach, through hard work.

And so she also prepared the soil for other fruit. I’m the second youngest of her grandchildren (my brother is the youngest), so I unfortunately knew her for the shortest time. But this also meant she’d had the time to create a fertile soil for me to grow. I saw it yesterday with all my cousins, of which there are many, how much her influence has carried through generations. She sang in the choir, enjoyed my efforts at Amazing Grace (lord how I cried when we sang that at the funeral), and planted in all of us a love of Christ.

6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
—Proverbs 22:6

There were children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren all present yesterday, most (if not all) of them believers. How can the soil she prepared not have been fertile? For her ways to pass down through so many generations, to be known and cherished and followed? She gave so much to see them all grow, to bring forth fruit and to grow in ways someone of her generation could not imagine. Through a birth in the twenties, obvious privations during the Depression, hard times during the war, sons who were coming of age dangerously close to the Vietnam draft, and quickly changing technology as time passed, she practiced values such as thrift and perseverance. She remained a steadfast constant despite all the clutter.

She produced children who valued work, craftsmanship, and charity. Those children brought forth more who followed in those footsteps, and impressed upon them new values like education in addition to those she espoused. Those grandchildren, of which I am one, have done much to further her goals and pile upon her glories and lauds. The great-grandchildren, too, will remember these things and aim for successes and fruits which she never had the ability or resources to get for herself.

And, most importantly, they will remember the life she lived, the garden she grew, the soil she tended for them. Those who are yet to come may not see her efforts, but they will be there, fertile and deep beneath their roots.

People who read this will probably know my familial relationships have been strained, but God knows she meant a lot more than as just a person who gave me food. I hadn’t left her on a bad note, but her advanced age kept her in a pocket of the world I didn’t want to tread for several years. Still, I remember some things that I alone could share with her; one which people will chuckle at was that she, *she* alone stoked in me a fascination with American presidents. When I was young, she gave me a poster and told me that I “needed to know my presidents.” It had all their pictures, the dates of the presidencies, and then a list of facts such as vice presidents and first ladies. I absolutely loved this poster, and I read about these people in the encyclopedia. Granted, my obsession with Jackson came later, but I doubt that essential quality of me would have been so vivid without her. She valued knowledge more than she let on, and she knew what she wanted other people to learn if only they would listen to her acts moreso than her words.

For now, I must cry and know that I can’t see her anymore. She may be gone from here, but I remember her, and I hope to tend those fruits of thrift, perseverance, and charity. I hope that her garden continues to bloom and bear.

And I know it will because Christ spoke,

15 1 I am the true vine, and my Father is the husbandman.
2 Every branch in me that beareth not fruit he taketh away: and every branch that beareth fruit, he purgeth it, that it may bring forth more fruit.
3 Now ye are clean through the word which I have spoken unto you.
4 Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me.
5 I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.
—John 15:1-6

And what an incredible thought. Since she abided in Jesus, and thus in God, she’s now working with the greatest gardener of all.

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The photo was taken by me at the dinner following my grandmother’s viewing and funeral. I took the picture so I could show my brother, who wasn’t able to come, the quality of the flowers we’d bought for a true Southern lady’s funeral. It was amazing how everyone imagined her as spring and chose flowers to match that despite her fall birthday, November wedding, and cold, Christmas death.

Mamaw Ruth was my father’s mother, and I’ve spoken about her here on WordPress before, but not in detail. She was a complex person, and not even this (which is a Facebook post I made but then cleansed of too much identifying information) is a good representation.

Y’all blogging weirdos can expect a surprise Southern Gothic month coming up. I’m not feeling cheerful.

Where the Heck You Been, H.R.R.?

Good goobledy goop, where has your favorite Southerner and generic troll gone? Why have you seen only my promised book reviews as of late?

Well, I am very pleased to present to you my October Update and let you know what I’ve been doing.

Dr. H.R.R. Gorman

You heard that right. I’m now officially a doctor.

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If you thought I would eventually reveal my sex/gender by using a nice M(x,r,s,rs) in front of my name, you’re now faced with the impressively non-descriptive title of “Doctor.” And, no, I’m not one of those doctors that help people. I’m a doctor of chemical engineering, and I’m selling my soul to big pharma. You’re welcome.

I still have to submit the dissertation to my school, but that means all that remains is some formatting nonsense and yelling at the grad school to just suck it up.

Since I just defended on the 29th, I supposed I’d have the time to make a life update post. Hopefully now I can jump back on my normal blogging schedule and catch up with everyone again!

On the Writing Front

Lucky for me, there’s been the Carrot Ranch Rodeo this month. That’s allowed me to come up with some cool beans flash fiction to submit to the contest, but that also meant all my usual blog-writing time went into stuff for the contest.

Did I do well? I dunno. I’m generally depressed and negative about myself (thank you grad school), but we’ll see. Some of the prompts were hard, and others I convinced myself that I couldn’t possibly be the best with a wide-open prompt. Others I was like “Oh hell, my dissertation/defense needs attention.”

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Pictured: Basically all of grad school, but especially the last 2 months.

However, I’ve spent¬†some time working on one of my favorite writing projects of all time. At ~45k words, my work titled¬†Manifest Destiny is entirely unpublishable in a traditional context. It’s also pretty much the length it needs to be. I have seen zero places to publish something of that length.

So what am I going to do with it? Maybe self-publish. Maybe stick a nice cover on it and get it bound for my own damn self. I also already wrote most of a sequel (lololol I’m crazy for doing something so insipid), so maybe I could stick together 3 books (ok, yeah, I’ve got plans for book 3… and 4…) into one epic fantasy. I’m not going to lie, it’s probably one of the most fun things I’ve ever created.

Reading and Stuff

I’ve done alright with reading. I got through a couple books that I had no business reading (i.e. were not on my list of planned books), and I’m not sure if I want to review them. I have 1 book left to read for this year’s reading, and I’ve already started getting through some of next year’s books. Actually, I’ve read quite a lot of next year’s books… Wow.

Next Month’s Plans

It’s NaNoWriMo and I have like no work because I don’t quite have a job lined up! Lol! So I’m going to buckle down and write the third book in my insane series. I plan on posting some snippits of¬†Manifest Destiny, the first book/part of a book, and perhaps some of book two,¬†Demons Without, Devils Within while I finish that and work on book 3,¬†The Corrupt Bargain.

 

Sad Day in the H.R.R. Gorman Life

If you follow me on Twitter, you may have seen that I’m currently writing my PhD dissertation (I defend in October).

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Sadly, this has meant that I’ve been VERY busy and, worse, have ergonomically injured my hands. I decided to give up most Twitter ‘work’ because at least this would reduce my writing load by something.

Up until now, I’ve tried to do as much reading and commenting on WordPress as I could, but the conditions have gotten worse. Now it’s both my hands experiencing different symptoms (thank God neither are like carpal tunnel symptoms). I took a couple days off this weekend and they felt better, but after yesterday I went back to square one.

Sadly, I think I’m going to have to cut back on some WordPress things because I simply can’t type that much without destroying my hands. Unfortunately, this is going to mean comments go first. I’ll still do some, but I probably won’t do some of the more banal ones (a.k.a. the ones that are just “this is good!” or “I liked this!”). I think it’s more important for me to try keeping my creative mind working, so I’ll try to make blog posts during this time until I don’t have any more dissertation to write.

Don’t feel bad if I don’t respond to your stuff for a while. I’m not trying to be mean – I just can’t do it.

Best wishes,

H.R.R. Gorman

Sunshine Blogger’s Award

Everyone knows I love these tag-and-question games. They’re a great way to get to know other authors, and I enjoy doing them.

So thank you, Kevin Parish, for nominating me!

I won’t be nominating enough people right now, today, because I’m not sure who enjoys this sort of thing. If you’d like to become a part of my usual tag-game fun list, let me know!

Kevin’s Questions:

  1. What verbal graffiti do you use too much? (Examples: Like…Well anyway… I know, right… Huh… Umm…)
    I think I just curse a lot and make people too scared to listen to the fact I don’t know what I’m doing.
  2. What is your favorite color?
    Plaid. Though, if patterns aren’t allowed, green. The kind of avocado green they used to make refrigerators.
  3. Do you love, hate or couldn’t care less about professional sports?
    Hate professional sports. I find it a waste of GDP and a celebration of toxicity.
  4. What’s the name of your longest-time best friend?
    Gah, that’d probably be my spouse, and I haven’t got permission to share that name on the interwebs.
  5. What’s the funniest nickname you have ever heard?
    This girl in high school went by Lu, and I thought that was a normal, somewhat masculine replacement for Lucille until I was in a class with her. On the first day, the teacher read off the names on the list, did a double take, and said sheepishly, “…Lucifer?” then the girl raised her hand and said, “I go by Lu.”
  6. Do you have a nickname that you can/will share?
    I don’t currently have a nickname. When I was in 4th grade, though, I was Scrooge in our class play of “A Christmas Carol,” and everyone called me “Bah Humbug” or just “Humbug.” I think it stuck for so long because I didn’t like the idea of being a humbug and got overly defensive.
  7. Have you ever started laughing really hard just by thinking about something? If so, and you can remember, what was it?
    Honestly, I laugh whenever I think of this picture of Nicholas Cage:A bad printing of Nicholas Cage
    According to the relevant reddit post, this picture was the result of a printer malfunction. I first saw the image in 2013 and it still makes me belly laugh when I think of it. I have it bookmarked.
  8. What are three of your “bucket-list” to-do’s?
    1. See Rod Stewart in concert
    2. Traditionally publish a book
    3. Figure out the secret to not being constantly miserable or something like that
  9. Would you rather have a lake house or a mountain chalet or something else?
    I’d rather just be a suburban loser who lives walking distance from the grocery store and driving distance from their parents.
  10. What country would you live in if you couldn’t live in the one you live in now?
    I’d diegiphy-1
  11. Do you believe that people can change? Why or why not?
    I believe people can change because I think everyone changes anyway. I think the main thing is that change is extremely slow and, often, that change can have temporary or permanent reversions. Because of this, we often don’t see the the state where people we don’t like fix themselves. We often have to gain distance and lose touch before we can see that change.

My Questions:

  1. What’s the most recent book you’ve read, and did you like it?
  2. How long do indoor plants stay alive in your abode?
  3. How long does your dried laundry wait until it is folded?
  4. A masked madperson puts a gun to your head and says, “You are going to time travel to a year prior to 1900 and live their for the rest of your life, or I will shoot you. You can choose the year and country of residence.” When/where do you travel to, or do you just let this mysterious person shoot you?
  5. Do you have pets?
  6. What is your favorite thing to cook?
  7. Off the top of your head, what book would you reccomend right now?
  8. Should toothpaste be squeezed from the bottom, middle, or top for maximum comfort? Do you follow your own advice?
  9. What are your opinions on breakfast?
  10. What is your optimal bedtime?
  11. Who is your favorite historical figure (must currently be dead)?

My Nominees

I’m nominating you because I thought you might like these games. If you’re not a fan, let me know in the comments and I won’t be offended! I’ll just stop tagging you. ūüôā

  1. Hannahconda Blog – Recent post: Make Up Book Tag (look at the post for the funny gifs alone)
  2. Joanne the Geek – Recent post: My Life in Darkness (Seriously, this is a good dark romance. Really interested to see where it ends up!)
  3. Drawing a blank on who else might enjoy these sorts of games. I do want to nominate more people, but I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. Let me know if you want to join in games, and I’ll put you on my list of people to watch!