“What is this?” asked Papaw. He squinted his glaucoma-weakened eyes, inspecting the food.
“Pizza,” Mama responded. “It’s just bread, cheese, and sauce.”
Mamaw harrumphed then told someone invisible, “This woman’s crazy. I’ll die – it’s poison. Look at how fat she is; I won’t eat her food.”
“Pees-ta,” Papaw said. “Sounds foreign. I was in the war, and I don’t like foreign food-”
“Just eat it,” Daddy commanded. “You’ll get used to it.”
Papaw took a bite, grimaced, and pushed away his plate. “This is for damn Garlic Eaters. I’m not eating this foreign trash.”
Mamaw just cackled. “Poison!”
I wrote this for the April 2nd Flash Fiction Challenge at the Carrot Ranch: Pizza.
This was based on a real-life event that happened in the late 90’s. My parents were silly and agreed to take my grandparents to Kentucky for a family reunion with my great-great-grand uncle’s branch of the family (they moved to Kentucky from North Carolina in the early 1900’s). At one stop along the way, my parents pulled us all over to a Pizza Hut, and my mom was surprised to find out my dad’s parents had never eaten Italian food before. I might have been, but I was still pretty young.
But think of it this way: IT WAS LIKE 1998 AND THESE TWO RED-BLOODED AMERICANS HAD NEVER TASTED PIZZA.
I still remember that event. “Pees-ta,” they called it. “Pees-ta,” they’d complain again, later in their lives when faced with the villainy of spaghetti with meatballs.
My Mamaw died this past December, but Papaw is still kickin’ around out there, driving despite being 97, nearly blind from glaucoma, and severely disliking Pizza.
How could anyone dislike pizza 😮
By killing their tastebuds for 70 years with things like roadkill and squirrel brains, probably
I would almost bet my grandmother never had pizza either. Loved your story!
I used to love home made pizza… my kinds used to invite school-friends home to share it! I don’t miss bread, but I do miss my pizzas
You’re reducing sugar now, right? Does that mean reducing carbs too, I guess? I’ve heard some people like pizza on tortillas, and I’ve had it work out ok for me in the past.
I’m totally off grains, partly because of the gluten, partly because of the carbs. I thought ‘d be okay with fruit, but find I have to limit that too. As to potatoes… one portion a week. The major result was a cure for ME/CFS, which I effected before I discovered this diet has been proven as effective.
Good thing you’re feeling better, though! Gluten can aggravate so many conditions.
A sensitivity to gluten can set off an auto-immune reaction. Aches and pains all over the body, a free colonic.
Eep! That sounds painful. Stay healthy!
I have been |(generslly) healthy since adjusting my diet back in 2015… after suffering quite severe CFS/ME for 13 years
My father’s parents were immigrants from Sicily. With eleven kids to feed, my mother didn’t serve pizza often (if at all) , but we had plenty of other “Italian” food. I recall a time my grandmother made pizza and I hated it! Supposedly, it was the real deal but puddled with oil and tasteless – ugh! I’ll take the Americanized version any day.
I agree that Americanized food gets a bad rap! Just because it’s adapted to a new palette doesn’t mean it’s bad, and “authentic” isn’t as important as “tastes good” in my opinion.
Exactly! Perhaps my grandmother was a bad cook or I was simply a picky eater. I can tell you – when my dad and his siblings took a trip to Italy years ago, he hated the “authentic” food too!
Fun story.
Should have tried them with Haggis, really got a reaction!
They’d probably have been fine with Haggis, haha – I’ve seen them scoop a possum off the road and fry up its brains. It’s more the spice that got them!
Yip, I feel the same way about store-bought pizza, H. Mine on the other hand is delicious [smile].
I think my favorite pizza ever was from Giordano’s in Chicago. Sure, some people don’t think Chicago-style pizza is pizza, but that one was my favorite and I can’t replicate it.
I am quite flexible about food.
In their defense, they probably shouldn’t have started with Pees-ta Hut. 😀
Pizza Hut is my mom’s favorite – and I’m certain they’d hate anything other than the exact cuisine they always want. Like roadkill and squirrel gravy.
H., I’m laughing so hard at this story and its backstory! You caught the dialog so well and I’, glad you rendered it into a 99-word Pees Ta Résistance!
Lol, that pun is perfect. My grandparents are a hoot.